Fernandez Goatman

Fernandez Goatman is the inventor of the Clam DunkTM. He is a closeted homosexual, however he gets mad cooch. He only drinks Rockstar Energy and has never eaten a vegetable in his life. He is associated with numerous crime syndicates, and is wanted in 13 jurisdictions for indecent exposure. However, due to his Chaditude, he is untouchable by the law.